Ich bin ick.

S'mores: buy chocolate-covered biscuit cookies. MUCH less drippy slop. I don't like the taste of graham anyway.

Thank you, need some love. That was really written in a fit of rage.

I'm | too sexy for the dance | too sexy for the Dads | too sexy for the lads

Have found you can say some pretty awful "get off my lawn" stuff if you follow the smile/matter-of-fact thing. Including, for instance, the classic "cunt punt" line from Deranged Sorority Girl email. Stand your ground — what you're describing is the worst kind of manipulation.

Tip: smile with gentle affection BEFORE YOU UTTER A WORD (even if you are gritting your teeth). Then say what you have to say in a low, matter-of-fact voice. This really works. Not just with moms.

Somehow, the word "ratchet" exiting out of those artificially plumped lips skeeves me to no end. What if she said "moist?" GAHHHHHH cannot unsee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I forgot 'great,' yes.

Yes, and bitter, too.

My mother said she loved me.

Nope, it was vaudeville at its best, even though it was unintentional.

No. It was SO awkward. The guy had just been written up as "one of the most eligible bachelors" something something so I think he took it as an effort to swoon in his arms or such like. I was too young to recover my poise, too. Although I STILL don't feel humiliated about it, just amused.

Oh, it's taken me a lifetime to acquire tact and knowing when to keep my mouth shut and it still fails me...

Fuck 'em, Lindy. For a person who was insecure for most of my earlier life, humiliation just wasn't part of my lexicon. The job interview where I fell ON the interviewer. The business call (at a TIRE SHOP) where I fell flat down in the parking lot and my skirt flew over my head. The time I was edging out of a…

That's our background, too. OK to pay for good quality on something that will last. I can't do the "clothes of the moment" thing to this day — have to stick with classics. Also, I force myself "no" to things I crave mindlessly, as much as I can. No impulse purchasing. Good for the soul (and the bank account).

Yes, but this one tripped the alarm on the "real breasts / fake breasts" thing my mind was subconsciously doing while I looked at the photos. For instance, RiRi and Amy Adams: no doubts — they're real, and they're spectacular.

Too bad she didn't get away with just a handwritten note telling her to "get her freak on" (like the lady with the vibrator in her checked luggage).

Seconded - don't be so hard on yourself. You can only be yourself — this can be a triumph or a tragedy, and it really is your choice. Love and honor yourself. Also — many of us spend half a lifetime throwing off the negativity thrown at us in childhood. When you do that (as it sounds like you have), the world is…

It flushed historically, now that you mention it.

I slipped from the tour group and used the bathroom, once! Quelle horreur!