He’s a doctor. He didn’t choose to be a public figure, dude; he’s not Justin Bieber. He’s just a doctor who wanted to go home so he could treat his patients. What the fuck is wrong with you?

It’s on my bucket list—I live nearby and walk past it too often to not splurge on a meal there at least once before I leave this town.

A friend used to work at No. 9 Park and i got a tour of the kitchen after my birthday dinner a few years ago. It was SO COOL—smaller than i expected, spotless, soooo much quieter than i had anticipated, and seriously running like a Swiss watch or something. Amazing!

She’s my favorite chef. I used to live around the street from The Butcher Shop. I had one of best dates there.

You bring up a great point...if we deploy cans of Pepsi to Syria disaster can be averted.

Can you imagine the kind of pain that not even jetting off to Paris at a moments notice can solve???

He supports free-market solutions for people with autism. Like...uhhhh...private companies taking the place of medicaid and disability assistance, I guess. Or churches doing it or whatever or...look, just shut up and read Atlas Shrugged, ok? It explains it all in there.

Last week I found out I was being laid off.

That’s what garage sales, Value Village, Goodwill, etc. are for....

I refuse to spend that much on a tshirt for someone who is still learning to eat.

Some of it is cute, lots of it is insufferably twee, and ALL of it is an overpriced swindle aided and abetted by people with more money than sense.

The week before my son turned 1 (and I was frantically planning a 50 person party single-handed one a shoestring budget) my sister with dual degrees in early childhood development and k-12 education informed me that he was ‘somewhere on the spectrum, but definitely autistic, probably cuz you had a midwife’ while I was…

I have been called a bad mom because I do not take my kids to church.

I never understood you going to bed early voters. I had to go to bed early when I was a child. Sometimes as an adult, I have to go to bed early because I have a stupidly early meeting to be at in the morning, or something equally awful. Most of the time, if I’m really tired, I fall asleep on the couch because I…

never. i would never want to be a child again. #teamadult

Can we also arrest and persecute people who like blast their shitty music or play their beep-bop-bop-bip video games on the subway without wearing headphones?Those tinny sounding speakers aren’t making your crap jams any better, my dude!

You have bad taste and are a bad person.

I am calling the cops on you right now.

Is this where I tell you to get off my lawn?

True Story: My parent’s friends were on this show and they ended up with a PIRATE SHIP in their living room. They had to spend so much money redecorating.