“Empty” is not the same as “open,” Roger.

When Dan Snyder, Horse Fucker, was reached for comment, he could not come to the phone because Dan Snyder was too busy fucking a horse, because Dan Snyder Fucks Horses.

gif party?

Tim Duncan Has Big Plans For 2016: “I think I’ll make some egg white omelettes, and I’m going to try to bring pleats back for khakis. Oh, I might also buy a camry.”

As a Knicks fan I fully expect that to work into 2 Miami titles followed by Wade signing a 7 year max contract with New York for the low low price of 2 unprotected first round picks.

Credit to someone on twitter

Since this ended in a thai, it went to a shootout.

Please tell me that “pre-Madonna” was intentional.

I know “the kids” may not care about this guy, but Bob Ley is fucking great.

15 years ago, 16 year old me thought Bob Ley was lame. About five years ago, I started realizing how awesome Bob Ley really is. This is the icing on the Bob Leyer cake.

hard to pick an all-timer, this is my favorite recent one:

When I was 6 or 7, I ate almost an entire box of fruit roll-ups with the plastic still attached to the back of the roll-up. I’m pretty sure that was the day my parents decided to focus on retirement savings instead of a college fund.

In the dorms I came home and drunkenly ate nacho cheese dip and chips. A lot.

Once at my cousin’s wedding, after a few beers during the cocktail hour, I made my way over to a bowl of what I thought were Wasabi peanuts. After popping a couple in my mouth, I realized it was a bowl for Olive pits. Awesome. Killed all the germs with copious amounts of alcohol.

Let me begin by saying that I’m very non-adventurous when it comes to food - meat and potatoes and I’m good thank you. Years and years ago my girlfriend (whom I was living with) had me try some dim-sum and I quite liked it. Meat in a bun!

As a kid I was taught it was polite to eat everything your host puts in front of you. On a family trip to Boston when I was nine, I think, we went to a nice restaurant. The kind of place with great service. I drank a glass of water, and somebody was immediately there to refill it. I dutifully drained it. And it was…