Damn, you are a prime candidate for the world's first spine transplant.

Well, thank you for proving that anti-gun rights bloggers don't give a shit about truth or honesty. "Gunning for" my hairy ass.

Well, her datability rating just went to negative numbers.

Just remember that some day he'll be big enough to kill you and drag your carcass up into a tree.

Jesus God, what the fuck is wrong with her?

It has now become illegal to be young and full of yourself. Jesus wept. I'm now going to go sing "The Ball of Inverness" as loudly as I can.

Welcome to every other city in the country. No matter what city your're talking about, the average working stiff usually makes just barely enough to stay alive and not enough to have a life. Move to a town where the average rent on a three-bedroom apartment is $400 a month and you'll find yourself getting wages that…

I don't mind a mandatory tip on the bill. That's basically just a slight price increase. No problem, especially when it's a matter of adding it when there's a big group. A really big group puts a lot of strain on a restaurant in whole, not just the individual server.

Maybe he got tired of his owner being a dick and not letting go of it.

I love corgis. They are the silliest of all the dog breeds. A body like a hairy sausage combined with boundless energy and mindless enthusiasm...a real winning combination.

It scares them because they don't know how to cope with it and they're afraid of it being too long-term for them. They figure if their kid gets sick they can take him to the doctor after the fact and get him shot full of antiobiotics and that will make everything all hunky dory (an attitude which is possible only for…

A few years ago my sister in law got a brand new Ford F150. About 50 miles later, the engine seized up and she said it sounded like a bomb went off under the hood. Lunch the main bearing and crankshaft and everything else. It turns out the woman literally did not know that engines needed oil changes.

Go with it. There isn't enough Texas left in Austin.

That woman on RBG's right makes me wonder whose hand is where.

If you are looking for a new job and you have any reservations about what to tell your current boss or when, apply the Golden Rule. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Well, that works both ways. If your company is considering getting rid of you for any reason, will they tell you in advance? Will they…

Nobody is, nobody can be, a good person in the opinion of every other person in the world. Except maybe Jesus, and there are some who will argue about that. The fact that a person has limits is just a fact of human nature. The fact that you have a different definition of "good person" just means that you are…

This is the first time I've ever actually cared when a celebrity died. Usually I feel a little let down, because knowing they're dead means my life will be a little less interesting without more stuff from them. But I didn't really care about the person whose death I heard of; my concern was more selfish. This time…

Isn't it amazing how queers always think that only queers should have First Amendment rights? Damn that Constitution.

Congratulations, Wisconsin. Thanks to your jealousy of unions because you think they're getting something for nothing, you elected a shitweasel who has at best only a dim parody of a human soul. Way to go.

A comment torn from today's headlines. That's a bill being debated in the Texas legislature.