This is the very first time ever that I wished I used Twitter. But fuck it anyway.

CRAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I serve salad on a plate. Wedges are for splitting firewood.

Cheddar bay bisquits = American fugu.

What are things made of - I once had a guy tell me SPAM stands for Squirrels, Possums, And Mice.

Is he allergic to bones?

They gave her a digital butt tuck is my guess.

Market them as extra-tender baby linguinies at twice the price.

I am God damn sick and tired of hearing shit like this from a pack of rich assholes who produce nothing but hot air, hypocrisy, nepotism, fraud, scandals, and pork, going on about the spending habits of people living on $2,000 a year when they think NOTHING of pissing away billions of public money because some selfish…

How did this cocksucker vote on farm subsidies?

Well, there were always a lot fewer 141's than F4s or the others.

Oklahoma doesn't give a shit about educating its children. Education interferes with meth making and ... uh, what the fuck else do they do in Oklahoma? Oh, now I remember! Inbreeding!

That's why religious fanatics in this country hate ISIS and the Taliban and so on - they don't want the competition

What can you expect from a bunch of people who live in lala land, who have no visible connection with what the rest of the country knows as reality, and whose lives depend on fantasy, image, and mutual ass kissing? That the Academy award process is a steaming load was proven not just beyond a reasonable doubt but…

I'm lucky enough that I do a kind of work that I actually enjoy, so it's not too hard for me to work up enthusiasm. My problem with these "gimme bubbly" employers is that I'm too damn honest for my own good. In interviews, I just about gag when they ask that hoary old chestnut, "Why do you want to work here?" For…

Good for her. Sluts should go to church.

Free Bird - I would gladly pay money to leave any place where it's being played. It's not a song so much as it is a mosquito whine set to "music".

Mustang Sally is OK. It's doing covers of numbers by the Cramps that causes the damage.

"...this is the first time I've ever been insulted in an online forum"

Nugentitis.