I wouldn't touch that thing with your lips.

Everyone is ethnic. Stop misusing the word.

My dog eats anything except for raw onions and pineapple. One day I left a bunch of mustard greens on the kitchen counter while I went to the bathroom, and when I came back there was nothing left but some green shreds on the floor.

Someone should tell that dust storms are not a good substitute for moisturizer.

So, by your logic, there is NOTHING that is worth defending because there is not one single thing you can name which does not have fucked-up people involved in it. This argument of yours is utter bullshit - "X isn't any good because it doesn't have 100% totally angelic people behind it." By your "logic", you aren't…

There are also no religious tenets that say you must do business with queers.

It is a choice. Only animals are incapable of choice.

The prostitute wasn't queer.

Why in HELL do they have a sword cane in the catalog? I can't think of any state where that thing is legal.

"When you sit down to enjoy American Sniper, you are committing a political act, "

They don't fantasize because they couldn't care less about the future. Their entire purpose is nothing but power right now. Their only real reason for all this shit is forcing their own personal likes and dislikes down the throats of other people.

Depends on the air, and that can be choppy at any altitude.

This guy has incredible potential to be a very, VERY UGLY old man.

Yes, but are the plates biodegradable and are the batteries in the quadcopter made with fair-trade sustainable rare earths from free-range strip mines? If you're going to advertise things to the delicate-eater crowd you have to stay a step ahead of their preciousness.

"BYOF" when you say it aloud sounds like another euphemism for puking.

Distraction for her partner the pickpocket who was working the company-lunch table.

Which is why there are so many bring your own food startups today. I guess some guy who used to work at U R Cooks decided to branch out.

Man, that last was a Rick James story. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.

"The girl who broke her vagina" - please forgive me, but that sounds like the perfect title for a story in some trashy 3rd-rate men's magazine. I sympathize but damn, that's a great turn of phrase.

When I was a boy I was helping an uncle build a fence using creosote-treated wood poles. He was carrying them on a flatbed trailed pulled by a tractor, and had to go up a steep hill. The trailer bounced so much that most of the fence posts were knocked off, and we had to carry them uphill by hand. I must have carried…