No wonder they can't get him out the door. Look at all those locks.

The real mistake was letting Aaron know they were up for anything.

Oh man. +1

I think I see what Seton Hall's doing wrong.

.

+1

Really, Albert? The guy's a cardiologist. Who the hell are you to argue with what he believes deep down in his heart?

Ridiculous. +1

+1

Ha!

The good news is that he's already on the twelfth step.

Deadspin should Onionize.

That's way cooler than Matt Prater's suspenders.

I met my current girlfriend through Tinder. We've been dating for almost eight months.

+1

So long, suckers.

I can't believe he had to drive all the way to Temecula to find a vegetarian.

Love it.

Well of course it does, Billy. It's a statue of a big ol' bulging dick.

+1