They focused on "evil plans," but "send[ing] a clear message" is also a relatively modern turn of phrase.

That quote is interesting, because George Washington said it exactly as many times as Obama has taken someone's guns away.

...except the Hoppy Lager is a separate, new beer that wasn't a part of the Beer Camp Across America mixed pack.

Laugh all you guys want, a Carrier's defenses become questionable when transiting a tight littoral environment like the straits.

Dude, dick paraphernalia is the fucking worst. Get her a sash that says "Bachelorette" or a tiara or something, or dress up like you're doing Glamour Shots, but for the love of all that's holy, don't get dick paraphernalia. Not only is it uncomfortable for at least half the party (if not more), it's utterly…

um, this is a car

When we heard the story (maybe like a month later?) my husband was like, "well at least now I know none of my friends ever fucked my mom."

wait, what? You were planning on asking your girlfriend on a date by leaving 100 cahin saws around her house, and then her grandmother ate them all?

My dog eats chocolate all the time. That dog was a pussy! Couldn't hold his cocoa.

Locker room barber?

Barney Varmn disagrees

HOW DARE YOU SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT TO ME? AND IN THIS FORUM? OVERREACTING TO MINUTIA IS FUNNY. WHAT ABOUT THAT DON'T YOU GET?

I'm here to defend both Mark Brandanawicz and season 1. Come at me!!!

Jean Ralphio at No. 2 is dumb and wrong. I can only assume his father paid for this Kinja.

Craig ranks much higher. At least on par with April

Ben Wyatt at 25? Did you even watch this show?

Did the people vote for this?! Jean Ralphio at 2 and April at 12..... what life is this :(

If absolutely no guy ever thinks you like him, what that really means is you're ugly, yes? (Because he doesn't like you, and thus isn't jonesing to either lay you or win your hand.)

Oh yeah, that storied Alabama rocket scientist heritage. Was that the Tuscaloosa Von Brauns, or was it the clan from Decatur?