Oppressors always try to co-opt victimhood - no one likes to admit to being the villain, after all.

Aw, a multi-billion dollar corporation has to label boxes differently? How inconvenient. I see that really eating into their profits.

GMOs are one of the single most dangerous technologies for food security—and it has nothing to do with their alleged "safety."

I don't like your wife already.

Also, don't fucking buy a dog. Adopt a dog. Holy hell, it's 2014.

Probably a dog, if we measure in time from arrival to shutting the fuck up about it.

Counterpoint: Fewer babies.

Is this the famous "I.P. Freelee"?

Counter-point: Bananas, Pineapples and Cherries is also the strict diet that Pac-Man was on and dude is round as fuck.

Finally! A diet that is simple and practical for the common, everyday barrel smashing Gorilla.

My best friend and I have a tactic when we go to our favorite Indian food buffet (best type of buffet IMO). Firstly, eat a big meal the night before, but don't eat breakfast. Go for late lunch if the hours allow. Don't drink water, get a small bowl of the inevitable fruit they have. Grapes are the best. Satisfies…

I'm sure that her support of these geocentric anti-Semitic crackpots was actually Kate Mulgrew from an alternative, evil universe, and I am glad that the beloved real Kate Mulgrew has returned from her dangerous Mirror, Mirror (mis)adventure to set the record straight. PHEW.

Do not taunt Happy Fun Lesbian.

Heh. Henry Kissinger gone bad...Isn't that redundant?

I don't think Jezebel trolls are exactly arbiters of what a "normal" life is.

Surprising. Less vaccinations would lead to more dead babies meaning increased rib supply.

"any other normal childhood disease"—you mean like death, which used to be a normal childhood disease before vaccines came along?

I'm glad she was okay, sounds like she will have a difficult time with an idiot for a parent tho.

This is really unethical of me and I still feel bad about it. That said…it is my only revenge story, and it is epic.