And that's different from the other Belichick press conferences, how....?

uh, Spoiler Alert?

CDC: Coach, we're from the Center for Disease Control. We'd like to do a once-over on the locker room after the team leaves. Are y'all close to departure?

Meanwhile, Dexter has been charged with child endangerment for exposing these kids to shitty football and MRSA.

In future news:

Yeah, the green dot is home plate. I should have mentioned that. [I'm the designer]

If that's Danny Amendola he's out for the season.

The Golden Generation did get eliminated on penalties 3 times, and lost to Brazil and Germany in the other 2 major tournaments they qualified for. Not that they would've won anything, but they've had some terrible luck.

12,000+ words? You'd think Swartz was writing about an Eagles documentary.

Why, SHIELD of course!

IIIIIIIIIIIIIT'S THE CIRRRRRRRCLE, THE CIRCLE OF LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFE!!

I'm more excited that the NCAA is getting closer to being recognized for the fraudsters that they are, and maybe the top-heavy system of schools and coaches getting rich while paying "student athletes" a pittance will soon become history.

Man, Bob Filner looks like hell after resigning office.

"Powerful Corporation, Dick Shaking" was actually Disney's tagline for the last couple of Rockin' New Year's Eves.

I don’t want to see the Olympics at all

Well, it would have been a hell of a trick to hit somebody in the dick at that game who wasn't a Braves fan.

Would you pass up nearly four percent of your salary for a superstition?

ESPN spent the rest of the night praising Matthews's "heart" and "courage," when it looked for all the world like he was doing exactly what decades of research says is dumb and dangerous