I call shenanigans on this. Seriously, if this worked all of us Chicagoans would look like supermodels. All of them could save their money and just spend a winter in Chitown instead.

I think it’s more: buy the coffee shop, sell off all but one espresso machine, cut staff to one per shift and demand they work off the clock to clean and prep, limit supplies to the minimum used per day, then whine and bitch and complain about how lazy employees are when the shop closes, file for bankruptcy, and sail…

I was really hating my job until I read about the poor woman who has to charge a 10 year olds cell phone to exactly 99%.

Well fuck me sideways. I’ve worked in juvenile justice facilities, and the idea that a judge would send a 9 and 10 year old — assuming against all reason that the 15 year old has actually done some unnamed thing to deserve this — to one to teach their older brother and mother a lesson defies fucking reason. If the…

Personally, I just think menopause was incredibly kind to her and bestowed a magical new kind of period.

You could always explain to them that the coffee isn’t cold, they’re merely feeling the icy grasp of the grave.

I’m actually relieved to read this. Now I know that my father-in-law (in his 90’s) isn’t weird or cursed with a dreaded “asbestos mouth” deformity - he’s just another old guy who thinks the coffee is cold unless you can actually see it boiling.

Maybe it because I grew up at the beach in California, but I have zero problems with flip flops on guys. Or anyone really. What the heck else would guys wear for casual warm-weather footwear?

Another reason California is superior.

Why would you put anything else on your feet when flip-flops exist? How can something be bad when it feels that good?

Hell LOST and the Silmarillion were easier to follow than this woman’s life. And frankly this is far more entertaining.

the most BRUH that has ever BRUH’d

Both her parents are white. She herself is lily white. She dyed her hair and darkened her skin with cosmetics. She also claimed her adopted brother was her son, her father had cancer, she had cancer, and probably a lot of other shit too. She is a lying liar who lies a lot.

Things got really awkward near the end of the night when the CIA showed up and killed the Castro impersonator.

Most boring feud ever.

and some people, like 28-year-old Tennessee resident Anna Thomas,do thirteen cans of whip-its at 9 am and crash into a mailbox

I DON’T KNOW BAN TRAINS BAN PEOPLE BAN NYC

My vagina just clamped shut like a bear trap.

People who think they’re entitled to hug you are evil.