It's like the White House held a meeting and said, "Alright, guys, we need a silly, not newsworthy story that is still irresistible to the media that makes the president look like he not only is a tone deaf snob who thinks the little people are beneath him, but also makes him look like he hates the troops and…

I would not be at all surprised, though, if the president scheduled his golf game and was never informed that it conflicted with a wedding. Most likely the admin there prioritizes the president over everything else, and didn't even tell him.

While I appreciate the clarification, I still think it is a total dick move to prioritize your game of golf above someone's wedding day. But then again, I don't play golf.

I will say what I said in every case that's come up so far at my alma mater in recent years: Just look at the kids' testimony themselves, take it at face value for a minute, and ask yourself whether—even if everything Jansen's clients say is true—we're producing student athletes of character at the Florida State…

From Free Shoes University to Fucking Systematic Under-investigating.

Great work on a difficult subject, Diana. Even if the accusation didn't add up here - and I guess we'll never know for certain but it seems unlikely that it would sway a jury in her favor - the evidence of systematically white washing the records of FSU athletes looks pretty definitive.

Too long; can't read.

OMG "saving the paper." Every friggin' year. "Don't rip that paper, I want to save it!" Somewhere out there is a massive storage unit filled with neatly torn Christmas wrapping paper that my mother is saving for godonlyknowswhat.

"Awww. Lookit all the doggies on it! How cute. Imma keep this..."

They were afraid the whole time, right? I mean, it is so exotic there!

Sorry but I'm pretty sure the fortune I got a few weeks ago trumps hers

"It's not just a difference in the way that we measure things?" Kooiman replied. "Is it not as safe in that part of the world? Because our viewers may be thinking, 'International travel, is it safe? Is it not safe?'"

I'm curious about her conclusions about high-income women and the supposed buyer's market that they've got. I would guess that probably applies to older people who may be looking at a second marriage after some maturing and life experience? Because in my experience, there are very few never-married successful men in…

I think it very likely that he had the doll she wanted. At least that's how I choose to think it happened.

Thank fuck my dad didn't have youtube when I was a kid.

Possibly more hilarious than this prank are all the toolboxes below who don't see the humor in it.

One of the privileges of parenthood is harmlessly and playfully screwing with your kids. It's a right of passage.

This was brilliant.

He sure as hell should have followed that up with the actual doll she wanted, or this joke just makes him a jerk.

You don't find them funny or witty because you aren't the target demographic. Dad jokes are—and always have been—funny only to the dad who tells them. Whether he knows it or not, this man's target audience is literally just himself. And he's killing it with that audience.

The Natalie Portman confusion makes sense. There's a reason Keira Knightly played Padme's double in Episode 1.

This really is weird and I don't know that anyone can explain it.