Later we'll all laugh when it's revealed that the whole thing was an elaborate plot cooked up by Shooter McGavin.

Example #14,915 of how political correctness is ruining American society.

Wow. You'd think with all the sheep and goat remains he's improperly dumping he'd hardly have time for these sorts of shenanigans.

Wally Szczerbiak isn't walking through that door. #mediameltdowns

@Kid Canada: Agreed. How many other rap artists that came up in the mid 1980s are still releasing new music, touring the world, writing books and lecturing at colleges? I'd say Chuck is doing just fine. #deadspindecadium

McCarthy must still be emotionally scarred from that time, in middle school, when he was raped by a rooster. #greenbaypackers

Tim Hardaway wasn't quite embraced in the same way when he started wearing Leviticus 18:22 on his eye black. Go figure. #timtebow

If by "Super Mario Kart" you mean to say "Tecmo Bowl," then yes, your opinion is spot on. #videogames

On the next installment of "Searching For",.... ladies and gentlemen,....Osama Bin Laden! #searchingfor

In fact, some of Rovell's best friends are Americans named Mebrahtom Keflezighi. #mebkeflezighi

Yeah, but who is the PR flak boning on the side? #mediameltdowns

Ottis! My man! #jamboroo

For the record, Zeke Mowatt finds the toy drum story hilarious. #garrettbroshuis

Those announcers aren't drunk enough, but this guy sure is #jamboroo

Simmons must've advocated the veal.

Not pictured: Amy Wolfe

Shoulda listened to G Rap

Also required by McGwire's insurance policy: Not talking about the past.

Publication date for the book has been set for Neveranuary 1st, two thousand and never.

I have not observed or participated in a sporting event in person, with the exception of an insane competitive game of super-homo water volleyball last weekend, which, OMG, and also a couple of dumb media league softball games (I believe I did bat in a double), since the 1984 Los Angeles Olympics field hockey.