“Hi! It looks like you’re trying to run an A-2 Gap Slant? Would you like help running an A-2 Gap Slant?”

Contestant: [watches video above]

Is the ESPN fantasy app still down for anyone else?

All she placed on the conveyor belt was a single bloody 24-ounce porterhouse. Wasn’t even wrapped in butcher’s paper or anything.

Think he should skip footwear all together and focus exclusively on helmet manufacturing.

If CBS values my opinion so much why isn't Kevin James buried neck deep in hippo shit right now?

He got the Sinbad tattoo because Freddy gave him the option of being known as Sinbad or Aladdin . I am sure if you dive into Sinbad we would find some parallels between his and Naz’s story. He started smuggling drugs because he need protection after another inmate tried to burn his face off. Thats not really that hard…

No snark, Hannah Storm handles these unfortunate and unenviable reports with aplomb, striking just the right balance of professionalism and humanism.

Shit.

Even if he was an affirmative action admission all it would prove is that affirmative action kicks ass and is worth the investment, because we got Barack Freaking Obama out of it.

He’s made bolder claims:

There were four witnesses who claim that the altercation didn’t happen.

Hey, nothing wrong with an old fashioned every once in a while.

Wes Welker then went home and gave a similar interview to his desk lamp.

did you intentionally name only players who play for other countries?

Aren’t there laws against transporting corpses across state lines?

Taylor Swift and Adele are the same age. Let that sink in.

I’m not great at spelling, but Benghazi has a “Z” in it.