Greg Schiano doesn't believe in toilet paper.

Gah, I lasted until the :46 mark. Fuck you and your patience.

...but how far can he punt a football?

Yes. That is precisely what he means. Because it's a joke.

Try to make it through this entire thing.

So, because I read and comprehend things like a fucking four-year-old, can you explain this to me again: the company can't actually be sued for totally ripping the people off because the drafted contract was illegal to begin with?

Someone explain why in the fuck's sake ESPN even could think more Simmons and less Magic is a good call.

I heard from Anthony Crispino that Rick Reilly still has his redskin.

OH MY GOD I SAW A STEVE U

The best thread includes:

I'm not positive, but I think he just scored a Rugby.

Yes.

Who should I start today in my standard scoring league?

You sound like that, but you're even worse. You always talk about how religion is the worst fraud in the world and how the universe is the true divine power of Earth and the true creator of people. I hate you so much.

Beautiful, Tim. Maybe your best work yet.

No, it's alright. I have been fairly disappointed since the fourth season and from everything I have heard, the final four seasons of the show are kind of sucky and season seven is supposed to be the best of 5-8.

As someone only into the sixth season of Dexter, I am just curious, is the ranking of 30th supposed to mean it was a crappy ending, since it's low on this list, or is it meant to be a good rating, as there have been, like, thousands of shows?

Oh yeah, there are registries all over the internet that give out every sex offender's information, like name, age, and crime. Check out this site. Hopefully you're not on it.

How could Deadspin overlook a GIF of the view from Golden's back from right before the moment when he gets crushed?

Great to see I will have company in Hell.