Now you're getting it.

Nope, I meant standby. He was pretty unimportant and still is pretty unimportant.

Okay, as a huge supporter of Deadspin, I say: Can we leave this guy alone? He hasn't done anything but be a standby citizen his whole life and then all of a suddent he is blamed for smoking weed, which was never proven on any level..? Seriously, don't direct Jay Williams' bullshit at Bulls players who don't deserve…

That was so ridiculously unfunny that I hope other people with sense in their brain also tell you it was unfunny. Fuck. That comment was so horribly stupid.

Signing Francisco Liriano without the broken arm was bad enough.

"That is hilaaarious."

What eating competition do you think you could win? You seem like a wing guy.

What eating competition would you have the best chance of winning? You seem like a wing guy.

Helton should just give it up already. He hasn't had good success with the Powerball since 2004.

Drew, Will Funbag be enough to hold you over until next season? I imagine you just rewrite all of these and edit them so all of your predictions and analyses are correct and up-to-date so that you are completely satisfied with your life.

Shitting diapers and having someone else clean it up doesn't seem like a bad way to go compared to falling off the back of a snowmobile, only to be run over by it. But hey, that's just this white-collar guy's opinion.

"... copies have apparently been burned for the wellbeing and betterment of all humanity."

Even Kramer lasted longer than you.

"I'd die to be able to heel click again."