He seemed sad.

Hamm’s acceptance speech was fascinating. I was seriously on the edge of my seat because he was so incredibly pained and exasperated. When someone’s in a space like that, there’s no telling what impulsive romantic gesture or douchey omission he’s capable of. But that’s early sobriety.

First of all, I’m an atheist.

I think she’s just mad because Ahmed is better than any of her kids.

My freshman year of college (about 4 years ago,) I smoked and got high for the first time, resulting in a horrific panic attack where anxiety induced physical symptoms led me to believe I was dying.

Anyone who ever watched The Muppet Show knows that just because they’re puppets doesn’t mean it’s a show aimed at children.

Wait, size 9 is the biggest feet? Um [rotates shoes] I wear a size 01.

Sorry your heart is too cold and dead to appreciate the cuteness of kitties’ jelly bean toes.

I like his fancy crossed paws!

GOD spelled backwards.

DOG

They put two mattresses next to each other. And use two sets of sheets and blankets. This is bullshit. This is not even anything. Fuck these people.

There are 6 scheduled. The first is 10/13.

also

i had an aneurysm when Huckabee complained that we don’t cure diseases any more.

The dame in the dark blue dress on the left is giving off a Regency Jennifer Coolidge vibe.

Julia Quinn! I came here to talk about the Bridgertons, TBH.

He kept us safe if you ignore that the most deadly terrorist attack on American soil happened on his watch.

I think they just literally couldn’t think of important women. If you didn’t give birth to them or have sex with them on a regular basis, you’re pretty much not valuable as a human being anyway.

Seriously, fuck ‘em all. And fuck Carly Fiorina especially for that straight-up jaw-droppingly pandering answer. She sounded like one of those girls who scrawls “I DON’T NEED FEMANISIM BECAUSE ...” on a sheet of paper and takes porny pictures with it for internet points.