Bird: Don't get too close guys. I heard you can die from contact.

You guys must have been sheer hell on the editors at B/R.

Almost nothing in this whole world makes me angrier than when one of you tells me how I should cut my God damned sandwiches.

20 dollars on a PAIR? That's insane. My cheap Hanes boxer briefs do no harm to my balls, and cost like, less than a quarter of that. You spend 300 dollars on jeans, don't you?

"Whoa, that's Marshawn Lynch"

Uggla was tardy to Wrigley after wandering in Chicago's subway system for hours looking for his connection. Everyone he asked just kept giggling and telling him he definitely needed to be on the K train.

That's the biggest damn basement I've ever seen.

Between Nash, Kobe and now, Carlos Boozer, the Lakers have to be considered the favorite for the 2006 NBA title.

If she didn't punch first, she wouldn't have gotten punched last.

Although he was a shortstop in 1998, it's not surprising that after spending a little time with Jeter he learned how to get to third base.

Well, Asia was technically part of Pangea, the super continent where all dinos roamed free.

In an office somewhere in Miami, Pat Riley's trembling hand moves his mouse forward, to the font drop-down, and selects "Comic Sans"

More coming soon on this, obviously.

I, for one, think a lot of this is alcohol-related. Get rid of the alcohol and you'll get rid of the problem. Plus, it'd be totally fitting for AT&T to not have any bars.

EyeBuyDirect.com. Great prices, frequent promo codes, awesome selection. I've been a customer for a couple of years.

Working a 3rd shift job is definitely an acceptable reason to be drinking at 8 AM. When I worked 3rd shift one summer at the local printing factory, we got off work at 7 AM and went right to the bar. A couple drinks, go home, go to bed at around 3-4 PM, go back to work at 11.

I believe that we will swim.

In response, Ghana sent a plane full of cash that was supposed to arrive on Wednesday.

Onazi: OHNOOHNOOHNO