Did I miss the ESPN and Deadspin switching comment sections?

Ryan Bruan later denied this bench clearing brawl ever happening.

And here is the necessary GIF.

I feel like if I had 4 hands, I'd give your comment 4 thumbs down.

"I'm sorry, guys. This is totally indefatigable."

9,000 employees? Well, that explains the 30-minute credits at the end of all of their games...

see you could have made your own billboard if you'd inverted this

This shouldn't be a top priority for law enforcement but it's definitely their number 2 problem.

You know you're talking about a guy who in his career has generated 7.6 WAR if extrapolated to 650 plate appearances (roughly 1 full season) which is MVP-caliber numbers.

Sorry. All I know is that make is sucking the life out of us. I am sure all the money could be used to provide clean water. as since i am thinking about it. why dont we use gray water for flushing?

That thing went right up on Instagramp.

There's a National Day for virtually everything, isn't there?

Michael Sam promptly set all kickball records.

Well, if wearing ladies' garters and breathing out of your eyeballs don't work, try abstinence.

The statement is odd though. How were their voices silenced? What answers do they want that are relevant but not readily apparent? Maybe it's just poor wording from a group of students, but the statement seems disconnected from the sequence of events. Do they still think he's a pedophile?

And that's why I stick with pro wrestling. At least they admit they're fake.

Fixed it for you:

Let it be known that the great Jim Cooke actually did two illustrations for this piece; we swapped out lead questions at the last minute. Here then was the initial art, inspired by the surviving-on-condiments Q; cower in the face of its majesty.