I took the fucking cat on the beach, with a makeshift leash (made out of twine) tied to his collar. Oh but not before I stopped two cops to ask “IS IT OK IF I TAKE MY CAT ON THE BEACH? I DON’T WANT TO BREAK ANY LAWS. ALSO, DO YOU THINK IT’S VERY LOUD DOWN THERE? I DON’T WANT TO SPOOK HIM.”

The look these dudes gave me,…

I doused myself in gasoline and set myself on fire after you broke up with Jezebel.

This dude is 100% trash garbage and I’m especially mad that he invokes Hobbes in that last line, a classic college freshman essay move. More to the point—in his totally stupid and oblivious way that line actually gets at what the fucking protests are about—that people in Baltimore have been systematically denied the…

Every time I read or listen to something about ‘Upward Mobility’ it inevitably and inescapably makes the presumption that moving up as a POC or a woman or any other minority in a rigged system designed for cisgender white men has a positive connotation; that it is something to be proud of oneself for and aspire to.

He’s like a college freshman starting their essay on poverty with “From the beginning of time, there have been people, and some of them have been poor.”

He looks disturbingly like Kyle McLaughlin in this photo...

Doesn’t the Taco Bell typically exit the girl of its own accord quite quickly, through one path or another?

CAT SELFIES

Right after that tweet, Lynch threw his phone in the pool, stared at it sinking for an uncomfortably long time and went to have lunch in Pacoima with a silent movie cowboy.

I mean like, dressing myself up like a coil of garden hose and hiding out to prove that the owner goes into the closet to peep. But then, what happens when another woman comes to check out the closet and notices the garden house has eyes. I mean, case closed because the place would get shut down in a hot minute. But I…

Shit in the sink. It’s the right thing to do.

I like John Green’s definition of nerdiness as being unabashedly enthusiastic about something. Ultimately, that’s what it is to be a nerd: to be so excited about something that you express your excitement without regard to how it might make you look to other people.

I am TERRIBLE at doing my hair. I have ultrathin, flat hair that doesn’t hold a curl or hairspray or product very well at all. I can do three things: 1) leave it down (it gets really flat really quickly) 2) put in an anemic pony tail 3) put it in a tiny topknot IF my hair is cooperating and I have time to fuck up a…

It figures that the living embodiment of ‘cocaine logic’ would be really into mirrors.

Agreed. Long time lurker and only now starting to comment but I just wanted to say, it’s good to see you writing for ROYGBIV again, Kat! I’ve missed your writing.

Flanked by A-list pussy...

I’d love to see Satan’s day planner.

Plus Satan keeps his word. You win that fiddle, you get that fiddle.

Then again, he’d done wonderfully at keeping a straight face when dealing with Congress.