"I was the student that she took to the er [emergency room] last year. I had a temp of 105, pneumonia, a kidney infection && a bladder infection. I was also 7 months pregnant. "

HOW DID THIS KID GET TO SCHOOL?! WHY WAS SHE IN SCHOOL AND NOT ALREADY IN THE HOSPITAL???

Debating whether I have a mustache and, if I do, questioning whether other people see it.

You missed this:

He's been practicing for years.

Brad Pitt smells amazing, like nothing I've ever smelled. Eventually we ask what cologne he's wearing and he tells us, "I don't wear cologne, it's just my musk I guess."

Why is she obligated to be nice? She has no idea who this guy is that is throwing himself at her feet. It's the equivalent of getting an email from a Nigerian Prince who wants you to help get money from your long lost uncle.

This is me, reading Miley's quote.

Ugh, the implicit logic of this piece —> "American women are slipping and so is everyone else!" leaves a bad taste in my mouth. It's not that American women are getting worse, per se; Gracie Gold's performance was no worse than the last American Olympic champion, Sarah Hughes' in 2002. I think they just have better int…

It's an exhibition, not a competitive performance.

Sorry, if the points system is why you can't connect with an audience, that's your issue. Plenty of skaters are exciting to watch and full of artistry, and they aren't exceptions. Also, spirals were part of the points system at one point so they aren't to blame for the loss of those, either. Go watch the 2006 Olympics…

This was an artistic program for a pro competition. For a fairer comparison to today, look at Kristi's amateur programs.

I wait and wait and wait for this. It is the best part about Wednesdays.

Burt, I usually agree with you. But I posted this earlier in a different thread and feel it bears repeating here. ....
I'm clearly in the minority here, and I don't know Jared whatshisname outside of being Dean on "Gilmore Girls", and I'm sure his PR people tore him a new one. But he does have a point. Honestly, PSH…

And after he wrote this test, I can only assume he rolled over to the Daiquiri Factory for a Date Grape cocktail. SMH.

I've realized I can gauge how badly my week is going by how many times I refresh Jezebel on a Wednesday afternoon waiting for this to show up.

Kim, you do not need anyone to walk you down the aisle. This is your third time, you know the way.

There's a fetus in my forehead.

As someone who has worked in an observatory; I can confirm that a sunset in reverse is a sunrise.

Why is this the best part of my week?

I guess you can still be godly and want to suck dick."