“I have no idea how this is possible, because I expected the 25-year-old suspension to be more worn out than the Doug DeMuro file at the CarMax warranty claims department.”

“They’re not prostitutes, Bubs! They’re ‘friends of the road!’”

Don’t forget the propane accessories.

Yes yes, please pray to God that a qualified firefighter/EMT with YEARS of experience, training, and education doesn't save your ass. By all means, beg a bystander to yank you out of your car and destroy what's left of your spinal cord. Oh, and by the way, firefighters pull a charged hose line on every accident just…

You got me there. I have never been in a car that’s on fire.

Yep, those scummy places are predators for the Poor and uneducated. Sad that the law lets them operate as they are only barely more legit than organized crime.

This girl I wanted to bang in HS had one. We tried fooling around in it one night and the roof liner catastrophically collapsed on us before we even got anywhere.

Also, if you are ever in Louisiana, go eat raising canes, best sauce ever. The chicken strips are actually plain. But the sauce is the secret to profit.

Somehow this is all Jindal’s fault.

Gen Y are used to being coddled and these “safety features” do just that, not to mention they let you be more lazy so you can text while driving.

Ugh... Color me disappointed.

Nobody.

Number 1 threat to national security: Our fiscal policy.

I’m still fairly convinced that our biggest enemy isn’t Russia, China, or Iran, but the head-in-ass stupidity of the House, Senate, and all the committees over there. They’re certainly doing more damage to our education and infrastructure (or rather failing to maintain it) then our enemies could hope for.

starred for epic TNG reference

three-pedal pickup