These articles should never lead off with “max value” - it’s worthless ESPN-style clickbait since none of these contracts will ever see that amount paid out. By far the most important part of a contract is the guaranteed money, and is really how contracts should be compared.

The puppy is great, but the best part is that the family didn’t bring him home till a few weeks into the season so they get to keep him for seven years instead of six.

There is a episode of Doctor Who where the daleks develop sleeper agents. So they look like normal people, and then it takes a trigger for them to switch. That’s essentially white racism in Boston. Like if you even say the word “bus” white people flip and they’re like “EXTERMINATE.”

Athletes are measuring sticks.  

I must admit, when I saw the linked “Tiger Woods Just Won the Fucking Masters” article, I got totally the wrong picture in my head. Good to see him “triumphing over adversity” though.

I’m delighted for him. My former BiL caddied for him once, and said he was one of the nicest players he’d met – and he’s caddied on the European and US tours!

+1 writ of handamus 

Folks, put your hands together for a prosecutor admitting a mistake. And then move them in an up and down fashion.

This story is a bit of an anti-climax.

“Jay....sucking harder than he’s ever sucked.”

So Omar gets death threats and it’s somehow her fault?

What rhetoric? Are you fucking kidding? She’s pointing out basic objective facts and people are threatening to kill her. Who the fuck ungreyed you?

Yeah, based on my extrapolation of the current data (teens to 40s) I’ll drop to zero at about age 380.

Once I get married, I’ll never have to jerk again. Me at 12. 

The guy who thinks you stop jerking off at 50 is like 18 max right? Man, what a stupid question.

“This Is The Face Of A Man Getting Pulled . . .

All the people in these comments going “so what he took a Student Loan, what’s the big deal?” or “he could have gone somewhere else under scholarship and didn’t, his fault” are SO close to getting the point here. And yet, so far. 

Causing Ben Shapiro more embarrassment than he experiences day to day is quite a feat.

Even worse, it’s a paid suspension