Time elapsed between article publication and the appearance of the Brazzers logo: one hour, thirteen minutes.

Gettin’ slow on me, commentariat. Gettin’ slow. ;)

That’s why Zayn left One Direction. He isn’t white enough to be cast in the inevitable Hollywood adaptation of Final Fantasy XV starring Harry, Louis, Liam, and Niall. Guest starring Ariana Grande as Lunafreya and Nicki Minaj as Cindy.

Hey-yo~

Hehe, “pitch a tent ”.

I don’t really understand this level of cynicism about the game. The game looks great. The monster animations are fantastic and so is the gun/fireballs filling up the screen. It looks like they learned a lot from Rage.

:V It's almost 4am, I'm tired and now I'm satisfied I can go to bed and get up in about 4 hours time and go to work...yay!

I want to hug you for this comment. it was mega crass but I loled :)

I don’t even like Doom, but this looks great!

Looking good to me. I like how the darker areas aren’t so dark as to not being able to see anything like in Doom 3. And the veriticality is a nice change of pace for this series. The gruesome ways of dismembering and meleeing demons is great too. And they even have a Halo style Forge mode. It’s looking a lot more…

Because normal people hate fun.

Yes, yes, there are already fan-made unofficial hell levels (kaizo mario, etc)...this was still pretty hype to watch, especially since it was a) a competition b) nobody knew what to expect. So watching it unfold live was entertaining + cathartic, at least when players figured out how to overcome their obstacles.

THANKS NINTENDO!

In a nutshell:

#yearofthecinco

Even better.

There would be no riot. The audience would gather together as a resigned, sympathetic mass to smother Square Enix with a pillow while whispering that they loved them, but it’s for the best. Sort of sweet, in a way.