My good friend's Jewish mother got concerned because he hadn't brought home a lady in quite a while. She sat him down and told him, "I don't care if you love a man or a woman, as long as I get Jewish grandbabies." (He's straight.)

I travel :3

Oy, I'm getting fahklempt, I mean, what would the penguin ladies at the sisterhood say if they found out?!

That sounds like a nightmare! I have one and it's enough.

Have they CONSIDERED Israeli folk dancing classes at Hillel?

HAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

When art echoes life....

If a waiter started insulting all of their customers, they'd be fired really quick, since they are obviously hurting business and making the restaurant look bad. A&E thought he was going to make them look bad and hurt their business, so they fired him.

Given the way penguins store food and hold eggs on their feet, can they just act as their own U-hauls after the second date?

Did you see Bobby fucking Jindal came out saying he remembered when A&E respected and followed the 1st Amendment? YOU ARE A GOVERNOR YOU SHOULD UNDERSTAND THE GODDAMNED CONSTITUTION.

Oh my God, I know. Why is this such a hard concept? Conservatives supposedly love the Constitution and know so much about it, yet they're incapable of understanding what protections the Bill of Rights actually provides.

Exactly! This is an example of the free market not an infringement on free speech.

Thank you! This is one of my least-favorite conservative talking points. Free speech isn't free, a$$holes - if someone else owns the platform, they own the right to use it to speak.

Nnnno. I think you're thinking of a different First Amendment. The one we have clearly states that everyone is obligated to getting a television show. That there aren't cameras in my office right now (and cameras following those cameras) is a clear violation of my rights as an American.

Ah, yes. And free market capitalism means a business can fire someone for saying something offensive and alienating customers.

Thank you. Now if only more people could understand this basic concept. I might have to post this to FB and sit back and watch the ensuing storm. Sounds like a fun distraction from work.

It's surprising how many people don't understand the difference. If he was thrown in jail for his dumb-ass remarks, it'd be newsworthy. This guy is exercising his constitutional right to say stupid shit. A&E is exercising their right not to give him any more of their money,

A reminder from your friendly neighborhood lawyer:

I would bang him like a screen door in a hurricane. And now, back to my classy, housewifey self.