I appreciate that, but it's not the re-gifting that has me worried. I'm just wondering if those tools had a role to play in Nick's Mustang accident. If you know what I mean. And even there, if they did, they did. That's God's to judge, not mine. I just don't want them confiscated by the police.

I am gasping at this. You poor thing. Why, bless your heart.

Wait. Nick? Did he call himself Nick Slick? Did he in fact have a set of fine craftsman auto tools with Nick Slick inscribed on the tool box and a cursive NS on every tool? Cause she told me she bought those for me on eBay.

Is that the Jiffy Lube by the cemetery and the Chamber of Commerce? Because if it is, she is well rid of that Nick person. Those men in there are very rude. I went in there one time to get everything lubed up, and they kept making remarks about my sarong, which is just the cutest thing that I got from Frieda's over…

I mean, far be it for me to judge my Aunt Cathy. This all reminds me of the controversy when she married her third ex-husband, Nick. He worked at the Jiffy Lube and at the time, see he had just gotten out of prison and we were like 'Aunt Cathy, you already have such a bad credit rating and your first ex-husband is…

I'm sorry; I mean, I know this is your Aunt, but I've met Cathy at YWCA. She's been taking that yogalattes class I'm in. She's not super friendly, and I feel it's a personal comment on my yoga style, which is very unfair, as I am seriously working on my stretch and all. Also, I really wish she'd wear better, or any,…

You know, I really only have myself to blame. I was driving along Route 10 the day of the sale - it was along that stretch between the railroad tracks and that big hairpin curve right before the bridge - and there was a guy messing around with a stalled out motorcycle. Nothing American mind you, one of those sleek…

Cathy is always at those bake sales, flirting. When she hits up that Sears Worthington Career Woman sale, she gets all fired up about how 'this is her year' and how 'it's finally Cathy's time to shine' and pulls out tapes of "The Secret" and goes nuts about finding a guy. Last year, she saw 'Inception' and, while she…

Wait. He's dating Cathy? Cathy? Cathy whose lemon spice cake I buy every year at the bake sale and way overpay for it, I mean like $50 every single year, because I'm trying to impress her Cathy? Cathy who seems to get a flat tire or her battery dies every other week and she always calls me cause she knows I always got…

Well, I thought every body knew this, but I guess I will just tell everyone now. He is dating my Aunt Cathy. They met last year at the Chamber of Commerce bake sale at the Baptist church that is in the next town over from here. It's a good bake sale, but really it's not as good as the one at the Lutheran church. But…

Butt pudding, hmm? Looks tasty.

I left him all the cd's, hundreds of them, but not before I took every single one of them out of their cases, mixed them up, and put them back in random cases. If I'm feeling low I can still get a chuckle out of imagining him looking for his Nirvana cd and realizing he has to re-case all of them.

I Know a guy whose ex fiancé took the lids to everything in the house when he kicked her out. The lids to the pots and pans. The lids to every storage container. The toilet lid. Just the lids. I love it, the girl must have been a real winner.

Could've been worse, could've redirected to Hinder.

This is so precisely a proportionate response for a shitty breakup. Not too over-the-line, not too obsessive, not too life-ruiningly cruel: just perfect.

The whole thing sucks. My sympathies align more with the tribe and the little girl who will be denied her cultural heritage, but, honestly, I am more likely to believe that a regular guy didn't understand what he was signing than believe that a highly trained and experienced professional made such glaring errors on…

It was a pretty convenient "honest mistake" to make. I'm not insensitive to the plight of adoptive parents but this whole thing stinks.

And it's also not OK to be shady with your paperwork when adopting.

He's apparently been taking really good care of her for the last two years.

This is not OK. It may be legal but it's not OK.