Take me zingnut, take me now!!

By all means, behead my uterus, the little bastard. I swear it's sentient and hates me.

That is a thing of beauty.

Oh the yummy, yummy benefits.

Shagnesia.

I wanna date a custard!

Which is why she's my new girl crush.

Yeah, I've spaced on the actual person she's playing, but Kristen Wiig is so hilarious.

I agree, this article could have waited until they had input from women in South Africa. It's a total rush job and pretty unprofessional, even for a site like Jezebel.

He is, by jumping on this accusation of drug use he was trying to discredit her claims of abuse at his hands. It's a common tactic of abusers.

His initial claims were that she was coked up all the time and that he was aware and worried about her, he basically made it seem like her alleged addiction was a huge problem in their marriage. By admitting that he has never seen or heard of her using drugs, other than those few times she dabbled, he is also…

JERAMIAH JOHNSON

They put douches in boxes of chocolates now?

Suddenly, conservatives everywhere buy Morrissey albums by the hundreds.

We can't.

If those are pork ribs that makes you cannibals.

And I'm crying.

I hope the other one called 911.