Porn does a lot of damage. I am a vampire girl and I will suck just about any body part you put near my mouth. I have little gag reflex. Unfortunately guys see all this porn and think they should be face fucking you, but in my experience most of their sensation is in the head. The deep throating isn’t particularly…

My dipshit of an ex boyfriend was on the bigger side, and one night, after a sushi date on which I drank an entire large bottle of sake by myself after spending most of the day drinking because he was an asshole and we had been fighting, he wasn’t letting me control speed/depth and I puked on him. He was disgusted and…

I certainly will try harder - thanks so much for the encouragement and the correction! Definitely your explanation that a title that, in your own words, doesn't make sense trumps whatever my one was.

Trainwreck is called Dating Queen in Germany? Ick.

Vanity Fair is my favorite magazine for just this reason. They allow for tone and style and panache.

Dismiss trolls, everybody.

Love this! Thank you for writing!

It didn’t need to get across the country at all. It would not have cared if it had lain in the same spot forever. Its creators needed to prove some bizarre point about how if you just give something to stranger after stranger after stranger, they’ll all cherish it far more than you apparently did because you gave it…

*Sees disabled homeless veteran on side of the road begging for spare change*

“Fuck you, I work hard for my money”

*Sees pile of Canadian garbage with Smiley Face drawn on it*

“Can people, out of the charity of their heart, help the least of us along our path in life?”

No, it was stupid because it was stupid.

The robot is pointless and we get to blame Philly for being the classless savages that they are. I call this a win-win

This is the same kind of mentality behind Millennial ego semen that’s been infecting our culture for a decade now. Getting the shit beat out of your vanity is called becoming an adult.

I didn’t expect to get my favorite article of the week so early, but there we are.

THIS. The only way this story could’ve been more insufferable is if somebody made a “500 Days of HitchBOT” series out of it.

Thank you for saying it. They may as well have just used a small GPS transponder. That was a robot in the same way that my IG88 action figure is.

NOT ALL PANDAS LIKE POPCORN

“If it’s some sort of consolation,” Why would this offer any consolation?

Nah, chicken salad story is BS. Everyone knows that wheat and American cheese always denotes a chicken salad sandwich. It's common knowledge in Barrow, AK, a place I once visited.