Text messages are for friends and family, NOT STRANGERS and email is for everyone. Calls are for your nuclear family, best friends, the doctor's office, the IRS and school, if you have kids considering all the automated messages that make it to my house phone. I live by these rules, and my millennial status is tenuous…

Which week?

What's up with the music?

I'm a straight woman who feels like no one's attracted to me. I "peaked" over ten years ago according to men. At least men don't depreciate like fucking cars. Whyyyy do men think women are never lonely, rejected, ignored?! Is it because the "dime pieces" are literally the only ones on your radars?

This post could not have come at a better time. I was just beginning to feel good about my physical appearance. Welcome back, crushing self-doubt!

Yea but this cover ain't for you, homie.

I thought the black space was intentionally added to fuck with people who bitch about portrait mode.

What's a reddit?

Um, unless you're doing exactly what I'm doing you're completely wrong and I'm judging you for being wrong AND for being an idiot. Boom. Two judgments v. one; I win.

Ahh, yes. My ex-boyfriend was thin and looked great in clothes. But naked, he sort of resembled a droopy stick figure. His butt was bizarrely flat without any muscle or fat in it, so touching it was like grabbing at pudding. When he ate a large meal, it gave him a potbelly until it was properly digested so you could…

Oh, a gay NFL draftee. That's nice. You know, we had a gay player months ago, NBD

I wanted to hate on this so bad, but I can't. As much as I can't stand all of the Disney fan art crap being bandied about the internet like it's some kind of religion, this genuinely looks really cool.

There is no golden age of dating. And there never will be.

It seems ridiculous to have to point this out, but discussion about the dynamics of race or minority or power are typically isolated to one country or culture at a time. There are overarching trends in play worldwide, but something like the subtleties of a single word will almost never translate to another country.…

Jeez, you took that Iguodala tweet totally out of context! He was referring to the time machine that he and Steph Curry invented. He was tweeting from the year 1513!

You are assuming that 1) half the readers are even interested in football (NFL) and 2) that that half are Seahawks fans. I think the number would be more like maybe 3? Including your good self of course.

hey if its your first late payment its okay because you are talking to yourself on the telephone. i watch too much tv.

I don't think it's ironic at all. The AA aesthetic definitely lends itself to a sincere appreciation of bush — think of all the 70s inspiration, sweaty models.

No, no, no. Women laugh alone with salad. Smiling is for yogurt and tampons.