C'mon now, everyone know the only time you trust a fat person is when you need a musical accompaniment that features a tuba or bassoon.

"Listen up fella, its crime I tell you, CRIME! Meh, meh, meh!". (that's how they talked back then)

Geez. My aunt was murdered in 1937 in New Jersey. All this time later, the family still can't really talk about it. If her photo appeared in a spread like this, the family would be beyond upset. Time does not mitigate the horrors for a crime victim.

Because they haven't developed warp drive.

Kids gotta learn what the inside of an ostrich neck looks like sooner or later. Rites of passage, man.

It's the ring bear-er. Get it? They made a funny.

This quote does more to dismantle choice-feminism than so many others.

Not that, Canadians are just idiots.

[removes human suit]

I want the diadem, for talking on the phone and doing dishes and stuff.

Being a person of color myself, I sometimes find myself wondering about other people's ethnicities. So you know what I do? I get over it. Unless knowing their ethnicity is paramount, I just get the fuck over my curiosity. Try it white people, it works!

Wow. My daughter and I are both millenials. That's a crazy thought.

Of course, by unicorn standards 10 inches is only a 5.

As long as Jordan can sit like this. This is a requirement.

The Japanese are comfortable with buying weird and quirky cars. Americans and Europeans, are not.

When I read "lifestyle equipment" I almost puked. Reminds me of that faucet commercial where some uppity folks went to an artsy architects office and asked him to build a house around a faucet and the architect looked at it like it was the damned Birth of Venus. Faucet? Hardly. Lifestyle equipment!

Umm...am I the only one who doesn't buy this "dogs can be racist" premise? Racism in humans is a VERY RECENT phenomenon (as opposed to xenophobia) so I refuse to believe that dogs actually attribute value to various tones of human skin - that smacks of crazy anthropomorphization (sp?) to me.

Just don't date comedians. Don't date writers, artists, musicians or anyone else who works in a field where being a self-obsessed asshole and dissecting behavior and criticizing the people around you actually makes you better at what you do.