Those are nice cars, but I’d be more impressed if it didn’t seem like I was watching them on a VCR. The fuck dudes. It’s 2016, my phone even shoots 4k. What kind of potatoes technology are they equipping you with?

buy thicker ones

Their rebuilding it so it’s out of his range now. I bet he’ll be first on the rebound though.

Does it come with a lifetime supply of condoms and antibiotics for all the Eastern European tail you’ll surely bang in this thing??

Pft. With that space, v32!

The soft “hey” is to make sure she’s ok after asking me to choke her until she’s blue, because apparently it’s the only way she knows how to cum and I went along with it cause sex... but now I’m just concerned about her mental wellbeing.

Front desk always knows where the free food is too.

Let me clarify that the front desk isn’t just an ally for co-worker sex, but for anything work related as well. From needing help booking conference rooms, to stalling a client, to coming up with a cover story, to finding out when’s a good time to talk to a supervisor, to ignoring certain people... getting good with…

A/S/L?

Agreed. Never fuck the front desk. They can be one of your greatest allies at work and can set you up with other coworkers, but never fuck up your relationship with them.

You can fuck it though!

Sure the first day you don’t see anyone you want to bone, but by Friday you’ll have already decided who you would bone.

One of my biggest regrets is not boning more when I was younger.

Those people almost always have chlamydia though.

I’ve banged at least 5 Gawker commentators. Yet still Feinberg averts me.

Haven’t tried on stove top popcorn, but not surprised it would be good. Old Bay’s great on fries with vinegar. Old Bay wings are amazing too. So much sodium though.

Growing up in MD, it blew my mind when I found out it was a regional product.

Give the cars weapons and make it like Death Race. I’ll watch the shit out of that.

Probably just got done fucking. RIP John.