This is the Kurt Vonnegut approach to bodily functions, which I took up when I had a child: Never pass up the opportunity to pee, eat something, shower, or nap when it is offered.

There’s a guy at my husband’s work who takes red solo cups and somehow washes his ass. Like, pours the water down his crack, I guess? And there are about 5-6 cups on the stall floor at the end of the work day. Like, dude, at least throw the damn cups away. It’s bizarre.

I am so jealous right now I can’t think straight

I re-read this 4 times because it made me so happy and I kept imagining exactly what it looked like.

Please tell me this place so that i may begin my pilgrimage.

I cannot believe people like this. The bathroom is for pooping! Pooping on a desk? Not okay. Pooping in the conference room? Wrong! Behind a bush? Depends on the situation. In a bathroom? *Always* okay. This is the designated pooping location.

Once I was in the loo at the airport and I farted. A woman in another stall said loudly, “That’s disgusting! Who did that?”. I laughed so hard that I farted again and she declared, “I do not have to listen to this!” and stormed out.

Do you work in heaven? And, yes, Charmin Strong is far and away the absolute best toilet paper. Charmin Soft is just okay, way too linty.

Omg where is this magical place??? Please, please, I need a job there. It sounds so. wonderful. So, so wonderful.

What. Wait—people are DRINKING IN THE GODDAMN BATHROOM???

After an “incident” in the bathroom in kindergarten, I went like 12 years without taking a shit in a public toilet. Then I lived in dorms for a semester in college and we only had one shared bathroom per floor and I got over that pretty quick. Now I try to time it so I can shit at work whenever possible. Might as well…

My work is a delightful utopia. We have a gym at our facility and immediately outside of our gym area is a whole row of eight bathrooms. Each a single person bathroom with solid walls and a solid sound proof door on them. Each has a constant (quiet) running fan and a shower, a sink, a comfy loveseat and are fully…

This is me sans the coffee. I even get nervous thinking people are going to recognize my shoes. I did work with one b*tch who came back from the bathroom telling the whole office that the bathroom smelled like shit and how disgusted she was. I asked her what she thinks happens in there and this moment has remained in…

Also, courtesy flush. There’s no reason to let your poop linger in the bowl, stinking up the joint. Flush as soon as you poo, people!

No you’re on the money, I just meant that calling them insane is letting them off easy as insanity is an affliction while willful ignorance is by definition a conscience choice.

It has become the, “When did you stop beating your wife?” of the Make-them-the-bad-guy set, hasn’t it?

I agree but insanity is not usually the issue, I’ve been in 25 years and I’m baffled daily by seemingly intelligent people in the military who don’t understand that defending what Kaep is doing is one of the main reasons the military exists to begin with. Anyone who uses the flag, the anthem, the military, the police…

I just tell these assholes that our country was founded on disagreement.

Everyone I know who watches it insists that it’s great, but also that they feel very emotionally manipulated at the end of every episode. I fucking hate shit that pulls on the heartstrings for the sake of pulling on the heartstrings.

Bobby, I cherish your hatred for This Is Us. It sustains me.