Call someone who cares.
“You’re hired!”
“He broke-ded my nose!”
Happy April Fool’s Day! Wait...huh?
Cornell Cottonmouth?
“Hey what’s going on?!”
I don’t remember his name, but I will never forget him.
*ordering at IHOP*
- Requested fries be unsalted every time and continually complained they were tasteless, so he requested a side of seasoning salt. If he was brought the salt on the side before asking for it, he berated me for bringing him salt with his unsalted fries.
“You got a war face? AAAAAAAAGH! That’s a war face.”
(Editor’s Note: I guarantee you this motherfucker brags to his friends that he’s figured out a “great Starbucks menu hack.”)
“Giiiiiiiiiiiiiiirl, you done got your hair DID!”
WER IZ TIM DRAKE???
Quacktastic.
Sun-baked shit.
“Why Prohibition Is The Beeknees! For a fellas’ Tackywacker: Read What All The Gals Are Saying Here!”
Job, Internet.