WHAT THE HELL IS THIS COMMENT

Well, I think it can go beyond “what a cute baby!” (I don’t have kids, none of my friends have kids more than a couple of years old) - when I was in the 8-14 range, I definitely heard adults remarking that someone was likely to grow up to be very attractive. “S/he’ll be a real heartbreaker,” etc.

I was thinking, based on his comments, he looks more like a guy explaining to Chris Hansen that the wine coolers and condoms in his grocery bag were purely coincidental and he was only there because his daughters friend “needed someone to talk to”

“I don’t immediately jump to molesting her. I wait 10 years. But so we’re clear, I’ve called dibs on that.”

I heard Alex Trebek wants you to say that to his face.

Contestant: [watches video above]

Ewwwww

Naw

C’mon man, he’s not a Full-On-Rapist.

We have your milk boiling back in the kitchen just the way you like it, Mr. Kelly!

Seems fitting. Raging asshole enjoys a big glass of milk. But when I drink a big glass of milk I get a raging asshole. Thanks, lactose!

He will also have a side of jelly beans, raw.

If you’re wondering where Pedro Martinez learned that caricaturization from, it’s most likely from cartoons and movies made by white men starring white men in brown face.

I was going to make a big fuss of the fact that you misspelled Scarlet three times, but frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn...

All the good names like Steelers and 76ers were already taken.

I’m really not here to defend him, but that picture was from after the last out of the game - which you didn’t watch. Bad Kinja.

Montenegro, please

He doesn’t owe his fans an apology for going to rehab. But he absolutely owes an apology for Speedin’ Bullet 2 Heaven.

One step further: elbows have to be behind the last row of cups. Break the rule and the opponent calls “CONDOR!” Boom, you’re stuck drinking a cup a punishment.