Awful pun? Absolutely, but don't act like it wasn't endearing.

It's the new fourth meal combo option at Taco Bell

Fanatastic story. I wish Deadspin produced writers like that NJ.com guy.

Is this a joke I don't get? You don't make gumbo with no snow crab.

...we're very confident that this young man understands where he is and what he needs to do going forward.

Who eats when on molly?

I read this whole article looking for the list. Damn you and your clickbait.

ATDI, so much better than mars volta but forever to be overshadowed by them

The last thing the US needs is to be "handed" a spot in the knockout rounds. We've come this far and already shown far more potential than anyone gave us credit for - any sort of shenanigans would make us look like serious chumps. We're better losing while trying to win than tying because a powerhouse let us. It's…

It gives you something to do with your hands since you can't smoke in bars anymore.

This author is a total asshat, and apparently a total loser for camping in his own article's comments section to unsuccessfully try to defend his shitty article.

Your house sounds boring. I'll go to the bar.

Who the fuck wants to pay $5 for a glass of 60 minutes IPA?

At the end he is pouring water all over himself, not booze. But still fucking weird. Maybe he just hates all liquids?

Damn. This makes me sad.

Corey "Bewildered Devils lady" Schneider.

Oh good, the asshole I ordered showed up. I'm gonna have to call the company, though; they said 30 minutes or it's free.

NO.

These modern kids are so fucking lucky. In my day (the late nineties), you had to go to the shitty dance and make an appearance, and you hated it and it felt like shit.