Here's the other reason I did a Foods That Should Not Exist: since this is the column that landed me this job, and a trip out of the nightmare that is the food industry, I thought it only fitting that my last full feature as a Recruit (other than next Monday's BCO) be a probably-overdue edition of Foods That Should…

Dude, take Whataburger with you! You can buy the ketchup, spicy ketchup, and mustard, as well as the pork sausage they use for the BOBs and Breakfast on a Biscuits, at HEB. Stock up! :-)

LMAO! I love your sidenote. Because that's basically how I feel about this story. All "fuck this fucking asshole!" on the one hand, and then all "OMFG I want some whataburger right now!!!!!!! Give me the spicy ketchup!"

Whataburger is delicious! He just couldn't wait another second for those tasty fries!*

I went to the Fiji Islands with a group that contained several vegans... OK, Fiji, well versed with vegetarian cuisine by dint of having a big Hindu population, even the McDonald's have Veggie McNuggets, Fiji has a handle on meatlessness.

*Cokies

Seriously, if the breakfast-taco place had meatless options, couldn't the angry vegan have just ordered a vegetable taco without cheese? It's at least worth asking; even in a hipster haven where everyone presumably knows what a vegan is, a busy server might rattle off choices on autopilot. (My husband has some minor…

I had a friend tell me that she didn't like a local institution of a restaurant because they "had no vegetarian options." This restaurant is known for their BACON CHEESEBURGERS.

oh, no doubt. And, assuredly, the best addition to churros is chocolate, which owes pretty much everything to the indigenous cultures of Central America; I'm pretty sure it's one of those foods that is the happiest product of cultural mixing and a meager silver lining to a lot of truly terrible aftershocks that came…

Is that pastel de 3 leches? My mom only made on special occasions (read: baptisms, first communions, easter, anything religious really) and my. god. I would sell my atheist soul to the devil for that shit.

I know I made flan for my 7th grade Spanish class. From scratch. It's the only reason I passed, because after six years of Spanish, all I can say is "hola, me llamo Shiny. Yo quiero Taco Bell" (and that second part IS A LIE. I have never quiero'd Taco Bell IN MY LIFE).

NOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #never4get

I do not understand this term "too sugary" to which you refer.

I'm tired of Lana Del Ray and her breathy non-singing