Oh, if only I had a Monty Python gif...

@MsWhatsit: I know, right? I covet her hair. It's so shiny and healthy.

@Moretta: hearted

@komatroll: Heh, no. I bet when he called it off she was screaming: "I was THISCLOSE to getting rid of the name Buttitta!"

At the very least, he should pay half of the money she lost, as the wedding was an event that was held for them jointly.

So because a few kids started a fight, a few hundred were not allowed to use the bathroom for the entire 7 hour school day? WTF?

@MakeMeSmile: Yeah, I immediately thought of DeBecker on this one.

Now it CAN be "Adam and Steve."

I know Jezebel doesn't do "trigger warnings" but there should be some kind of "weep warning" because this is the second time in 2 days that I've read a Jez post and gotten all blubbery at my desk.

@Lana Leigh loves Meryl Streep: My guess is the prosecutor, on reviewing the evidence, believed that she was victimized by her father despite the fact that she is above the age of consent.

@VirtuousVixen: Yeah, I think you're totally right. That's why the "consent" in these cases is not really consent.

@VirtuousVixen: Yeah, I think you're totally right. That's why the "consent" in these cases is not really consent.

@SorciaMacnasty: LOL, I can't take credit for it. It's from "The Simpsons."

@CurtCole: I dunno. I think you're sexualizing something that's not sexual.

@Firesticks: They didn't become cheese-eating surrender monkeys until the 20th century. Although they always were very fashionable.

@SorciaMacnasty:

@Artemis47 supports MizJenkins: I confess, I have the onion version of this, which is outstanding. I can cut an onion in half, and put the other half in the onion saver, and it doesn't stink up my fridge or get slimy like it would if I wrapped it in plastic.

@Love Monkey: His chest looked unnaturally smooth and golden—they photoshopped out every single bit of chest hair. It was kinda creepy.

@Jennybell: Yeah, there's not a single Hershey's product that I will eat. Their chocolate sucks.

If that's the best the school district's lawyers can come up with, they should set aside some settlement money now.