Is it too early for cocktails, Dodai? If so, do you have adequate Twizzlers and popcorn?

Coming soon: lice, boils, locusts, hail and darkness.

If her mother—-who earned $12 million last year—-can afford to pay for Bristol's condo, she could afford to pay for child care so Bristol could attend college.

David Edelstein is completely fucking obsessed with snarking on women's looks, from Gabby Sidibe to SJP. It's sick and compulsive. He's as bad as Tom Shales, which is no small achievement.

@andBegorrah: Don't forget about our cuntness. We're full of cuntness.

@AnneV6: Sort of like Candace Bushnell's tone, actually.

If Jezebel "always gets it wrong", I don't wanna be right.

@emilyanne: I may have the tiniest bit of a crush on Sir Harry, but I'm fucking sick of Tina Brown positioning herself as a paragon of modern womanhood. Getting ahead by fucking an older, more powerful man is the oldest play in the book.

Tina Brown somewhat tastelessly tried to attribute this to Bushnell's attractiveness, quipping, "some people weren't so lucky"

I'm going to have my business cards changed to read "Resident Trollop."

@missheidilynn: Yes, most animals are naturally fastidious. When I had dogs, the best way to train the puppies not to pee/poop in the house was to keep them in kennels for a while, and then take them outside. Even very young dogs had an instinctive aversion to soiling their "den", so they soon learned that outside was…

To me, the most obviously alarming cases are when people are living surrounded by trash and waste in a way that's smelly, unsanitary and dangerous. Animals will not foul their own environment unless something is seriously wrong, and we're no different.

@Blueberry26: I think we could just substitute "regression" for both.

@roodles: I CHOOSE MY CHOICE!

Ultimately, I realized that I'm not that progressive

Not to diss Ms. Nixon...but that looks like a snapshot from my nightmares.

@That-Dude: You mean if it involved a black female college athlete? Please. The mainstream sports barely acknowledge black professional female athletes, let alone college ones. And they've never seemed to care about the black women who have been attacked by black male athletes.

clairdeloony wins the Internets.

@thesadtomato: I sincerely doubt that. Not saying that to be snarky—I just really disagree. A Spelman student was shot last year on the campus of another historically black university and I don't remember hearing a damn thing about it in the mainstream media.

@battleaxonista...is a humorless bitch: Sad, but very true. No life is worth more than a white preppy girl's life in our society.