I will never buy a mattress in a box. Gimme a $4000, king-sized, ultra cushy, pillow top with all the separately wrapped coils ANY DAY. But I’m also an Old with lower back issues so...yeah. Sorry, Endy/Casper/Allswell/etc.

“he had a distinct memory of being born, despite scientific evidence that fetuses do not experience consciousness.”

I was SO proud of myself that I could still balance myself on my parking lot’s curb the other day like I was still a kid.

watching these clips is a very strange experience, wherein I almost forget to be incredibly impressed because she makes everything look so gd effortless 

I tell anybody who will listen that Zoloft saved my life.

He also lost a brother to suicide, so him having an issue with this sort of dangerous bullshit is not all that surprising. 

Yeah, I don't really understand what the problem is here with Cooper.  I feel like this site has had a bug up their ass about him since he inherited all that money.

Why say that Cooper is unqualified to have this conversation? He did an excellent job of challenging her on her nonsense in the clip provided; he seems to have an informed grasp on the subject.

It’s impossible. I don't care what YouTube says!

Yeah but, like, have you ever tried to fold a fitted sheet?

I think it’s funny that the movie assumes that without women, utilities like electricity stop working and the men abandon their homes to go camp in the woods. Like, I know we are important and stuff, but I'm pretty sure that dudes can handle basic shit like keeping the lights on.

Fffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucccckkkkkkkk!!! 

Can someone, anyone, explain how Disney has the nerve to call the Lion King remake “live action” when it is 100% animated?? I was never a Disney fan to start with (my dad tried to steer us away from these because he hated the ‘damsel in distress’ motifs and the racism) but I’m boycotting all of these on principle. I…

This does make me feel slightly better about my cousin being married to Michael Knowles.  Because it could be worse.

But have you heard about rolling your clothes when you pack? I totally invented that.

Bear with me. I just need to hop on Twitter to complain that Jennifer Lawrence is technically no better than me at falling upstairs, but is getting wildly more press for it than I do. 

Blue Ivy’s great but she’s no

That’s a cute video and she’s got some above average moves for her age group. I don’t think she would make the cut for Dance Moms quite yet, but lord hear my prayer and put Beyonce in the bleachers with those thirsty, thirsty momagers.

I do my little bit to help out, translating for refugees who actually lived through the civil war in the DRC, and I really have no words for how angry it makes me that she tried to profit off that war, and pain and suffering they actually went through.