Also, if I were ever an acquaintance of these people I'd insist on calling Prince George the "Lih'le Lawd," like Osha on Game of Thrones.

There are now officially two things on this planet that make me feel broody. Little kids wearing so much ski gear they look like the Michelin Man and can only move by waddling, and this picture.

I'm still looking for someone to tell me wtf engagement photos are really for. Because all I can figure out is I'm paying nearly $1000 extra for one photo on a save-the-date and a bunch of shit to splash on Facebook.

How best to incorporate this into my cover letters telling prospective employers that I no longer want to be a lawyer?

I'm opening up a food cart for it called Gastronomenomnomnom. It'll be the most popular eatery in Portland. There will be a lunchtime basket special with six of those things served in a bread bowl filled with hollondaise sauce.

"Roommate with a twist." The twist is that when you show up, he's actually M. Night Shylaman.

Yup. "Sweet as can be and very good for me" is something you should say about agave nectar, not your betrothed.

A smoldering baby. A smaby.

I object to this. He shouldn't get to dress up like one of my race for the purposes of entertainment. This is just racist no matter which way you slice it. For too long we Ghoulish Zombies have been categorized as Monsters and Brain Eaters and now we have to be the subject of fun? You Currently-Alivers seemingly have…

You will literally not believe how many amazing videos of paint drying I have. Your mind will be blown! :D

Is it like shabby chic? Entropy orderly? I think that's the look the piles on my desk are going for. I have a system!

I love caftans. I want a wardrobe of caftans. But, all the ones I've seen are either too ornate and fancy or too designed for warm weather. I am not fancy (and fancy would be weird for my job anyway), and I live in place too cold for the warm weather designs. I can't imagine clomping through snow in boots and a…

Or the people hijacking the thread to discuss male circumcision.

It is an awards show run entirely by grandmothers who give out cookies. (Thank you!)

Whatever Matthew Lewis just said was the most British thing I've ever heard.

Get a glass with some ice. Pour a fuckton of Vodka into the glass. Get some spicy bloody mary mix. Put some Sriracha in it. Add pepper and lime. Grab a handful leaves of fresh basil and stuff them in the top, so it looks like a fucking tree is growing out of your glass. Drink that shit and get drunk. Boom.…

I don't have to defend New Jersey, everyone else is just jealous of our ideal location and varied habitats. Beauty abounds, but that's OK, it's just all nasty industry here! Oh, BTW, stay off our beaches. kthxbai

Does Jezebel have any Latin American writers who are remotely in touch with anything related to Latin American issues? Because this story right here? Total tripe. Seriously. Make yourself a big pot of menudo because that's all you got.

FOR FUCK'S SAKE. I can't even remember what my SAT score was. I did absolutely no prep or study for it. My friends and I drove down to the testing center, took the damn thing and got the results. I got into a perfectly good college and that was that.