@Xander Crews: Honestly, I've seen dozens. Most of them are foreign registered, too.

You don't see many branded Transits in the UK, though their subcontractors and temp drivers (ab)use rentals. Most of the big carriers tend to have a much larger truck to accomodate the racking and sheer volume of parcels that the drivers leave the depot with.

Would driving it into the sea count as washing it?

Dead on!

I'm going a bit bald, can anyone suggest a suitable hat to wear with this black T-top number that will offer UV protection but still make me look cool?

This could be magnifique, but would probably be merde.

If I had one, I'd try and use it every day but I fear it would gather dust between October and March like the garden tools.

Lack of AC, using the bargain basement model as a platform for a performance upgrade, standard garbage seats, horrible wheels. The best thing about this is the idea...

Double hinged doors, man!

In 25 years, you will be soooo disappointed. Even brand new, these are shit.

You have a good ear for this sort of thing.

The sub-plot in this very entertaining tale of bloodied knuckles and dishonest sellers is that press cars get a very, very hard time when they're out on loan.

COTD!

+1.

There's still an awful log of wasted space on the page. That said, I prefer white space to adverts so feel free to leave it.

The electronic parking brake is probably not really a parking brake, but a way to operate the brakes on all four wheels. My mate's 2006 A4 TDi has this but it DOES allow you to engage it while moving. No handbrake turns are possible though, just an agreesive but perfectly controlled stop.

Man, I feel your pain. I was brought up on "proper" Saabs and most of the things you mention are the result of, as you say, choosing parts from the Opel parts bin. Most of them have well documented fixes within the Saab owner's community. The SID is quite an easy fix and some of the cheap switchgear can be replaced by…

Those Rovers are common as muck and can be had for about a grand and a half (Sterling).

Hmm...

And the last of the Vauxhall Senators when the Omega was launched.