Did my mother write this?

DON’T SCARE ME LIKE THAT!

Adam Driver gets no love.

Armisen is mixed (Venezuelan-Korean-German), so he kinda gets a pass.

Kimmel is also a huge R.Kelly fanboy.

You’ve got a problem when an 80-year-old movie looks more convincing.

Yup! Wilford Brimley was 51 in Cocoon. Tom Cruise is 56.

Roll your own.

It’s also cold as hell in Chicago right now. It’s so cold, when the attack happened, the CTA was busy setting railroad tracks on fire.

Here’s Conan O’Brien and Quentin Tarantino talking about working with Muppets.

NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Coasters are business cards for bars and restaurants. You’re supposed to take them.

It’s not as goofy as this:

An SNL star smoking his career away? Inconceivable!

He’s also responsible for this:

Their son has publicly called her a liar.