Stop the ceremony to plant a tree??! Now I know what I’m doing at the next wedding I’m invited to. Cry and have everyone watch me plant a tree in memory of my late cat, Fred.

A friend had just come from a wedding and pulled out the professional studio recorded version, the wedding favor was a CD, of the songs the bride sang during the wedding ceremony. These were not songs the bride and groom had written, no these were covers. So she got the bride doing karaoke.

it was a dry wedding

I went to a wedding where the bride and groom rapped Ice Ice Baby. Also the guy performing the ceremony sang his way through part of it.

I went to a wedding where the bride’s father sang “Butterfly Kisses” to the bride, complete with cupping her chin and caressing her hair. All of the guests were sighing and crying, while I was rolling in mostly silent laughter and generally losing my shit.

The greatest crime in this is that someone traded away wine for JAM. What? Upsetting.

The only thing that gets me through those moments is thinking “this is going to be such a good story.” WHAT WERE THE SONGS?

No because that would be my crazy Aunt who did the following:

When my cousin got married last year, his now wife’s speech went on for 30-40 minutes. We realized we had a problem when she was 4 pages in and made a comment about not even being halfway there.

AWFUL. Ugghhh.
I went to a wedding where the bride and groom had everyone to stand on the dance floor while they performed a THIRTY MINUTE medley of songs. Not like, a funny medley. Just... sang together while they made everyone watch. They are not musicians. I mean, it’s your wedding, do what you want but...

Worse than the guy who brought the loaded gun that “accidentally” went off before the wedding at the Waldorf?

Yeah I thought Lindsay Lohan already holds that title.

In the poll, you should have a “yes, she’s awful but I wish she was bitchier” option.

Congressman John Duncan, just now: “Surely you don’t expect us to be easier on you just because you’re a woman.”

Yeah she is pretty fucking skinny. She needs to shut up and then shut up again:

Same here. I want to like her, but her music sucks and she has bad dating judgment and according to a fan she flicked her vagina. I just can't get behind her life choices.

Better than yours!

For this reason, I have recently started taking pictures of myself every time I try some new makeup trick, and I hate taking selfies. This habit began after the bronzer disaster of early summer. In the mirror, I thought I looked sun kissed. My niece told me my face was dirty, and looking at pictures, I looked like I…

“full frontal male nudity”

homeschooling never wins. even here, somehow.