JESUS AND PEAR

I will give you this point. How many of us are fucked up b/c of some shitty shite from our parent’s divorce?! Oh, hell, I am in spades! Jesus & Pear shouldn’t have to go thru that so kudos to GP & CM.

Cut it right under the chip

This revenge baby thing is false. Revenge is a dish best served cold and as far as I know babies must be served at 98.6 degrees.

Sexy things Nigela Lawson keeps in her nightstand: English mustard, chili sauce, soy sauce, “another hot sauce,” and Tobasco.

Why not?

Candy Spelling

Can paleo baby still do crossfit?

is it a red currant or black currant situtation though

“women control their bodies, not the government”

Isn’t McDonald a Republican too? She should have just pulled herself up by the bootstraps and gotten another job....

Fun tidbit about this photo. The person who did the juggling/glass ball work for David Bowie in Labyrinth is a dancer/New Vaudevillian named Michael Moschen. He is the only person on this planet who can manipulate five of those glass spheres at one time. There was a fair amount of editing work in the movie to make it…

If he payed full price to see “Wild Wild West” I can kinda understand.

WAIT I CAN FIX THIS. All I have to do is explain why mom’s not in the band but is in the name, right?

I once pulled a car out of a burning man.

The only thing I adore about the sentient pestilent festering Cheez-it barnacle that is Donald Trump is his speech style, where he’s clearly just letting his mouth run first before his brain can catch up. I mean, breaking down this response, his ongoing thought processes are just so obviously on the surface:

maybe he got the off-brand Lasik

Leave my spirit animal Kristen Schaal alone!

Holy shit, I hope I’m that spry at 74. I’m 30 and I won’t even fucking run to catch the train.