Jesus, Lisa Kudrow; are you taking aging tips from Julia Louise Dreyfuss?

The only thing that'll stop a bad 9-year-old with a gun is a good 9-year-old with a gun.

Armand: What the hell are you giving him? What are Pirin tablets?
Agador: It's an aspirin with the a and the s scraped off.

Albert: And Agador, I give to you my wigs.
Agador: *crying* Which wigs?
Albert: My best wigs.
Agador: *sobbing*

Albert Goldman: Whatever I am, he made me! I was adorable once, young and full of hope. And now look at me! I'm this short, fat, insecure, middle-aged THING!

"I was hanging upside down, and I looked and saw a blue scrub hat and yellow gown and heard this Russian accent. There was Robin Williams being some insane Russian doctor. I laughed, and I knew I was going to be all right."

It's on Netflix right now.

Oh Bird Cage - oh sheesh. I forgot how wonderful he was in that movie. I will be watching on repeat all week.

You just made me cry. At work. Thanks :0

O Captain! my Captain! our fearful trip is done;

Bangarang, Peter. May you fly free.

"Second star to the right, and straight on 'til morning."

I yell a mighty, albeit sad, BANGARANG this day.

♫ hello brownies my old friend...♫

"I get four hours of sleep a night, eat twelve hundred calories a day, and my closet has been on the cover of Organized Living... twice."

You've clearly never checked my basement.

PEDRO PASCAL FOR DAARIO 3.0!!

Whatever i'm still waiting for the long curly black hair growing out of your chin that you don't notice for 6 months to come into style.

Where I live, the people who say they aren't feminists eat babies. I'm serious. They come up to me, tell me "I'm not a feminist", then reach into their bags and take out a whole, live baby. Their mouths distend to an unnatural degree, and they just pop the baby down their gullet. And this is a daily occurrence. I've…

Do you live in some weird, violent matriarchal society where women regularly scream at strangers? Do all the women around you insist on spelling it "womyn?"