If I had even a nickel for every time my mom told me to “be careful”, I would have thousands of dollars. I don’t even know how she possibly survived my growing up before cellphones. Like every other kid, I was gone from morning until dinner or dark, and she had no idea where I was or what I was doing. When I was…

To me, tomatoes are the vilest thing that comes out of the ground. V8 is a horror drink . I haven’t swallowed a tomato anything since I was about 18 months old. I’ve hated them since the first time I tasted spaghetti sauce.

Only in tomato form! 

The tomato is the devil’s vagina in fruit form. An awful tasting thing that has no place in my house or anything in it.

I don’t really know why, but the prices places charge for drinks annoys me a lot more than the price of the food does. A couple of years ago, a friend and I went to Chicago and had a hugely expensive dinner. He paid for it, I left a very nice tip. I had iced tea, he had like 4 mixed drinks, and got pretty drunk, since…

About the only thing I would touch from a pizza joint is some of the deserts that a lot of them have. If it has cheese or tomatoes in any form, it’s not going into my mouth. Same goes for most salads, most of them turn my stomach. My list of food I’m disgusted by is a long one. Then there is the list of..”Why?” food…

I’m beyond thrilled at this point when they have leftover plain old potato chips that I will eat. They can’t seem to just buy “regular” anything. BBQ chips? Yep. Cheese popcorn? Yep. Any number of different cheese tortilla chips? Of course.

No pizza for me, ever. And I would definitely let you know about it, I have no fear at my now old age of telling people I’m not about to eat whatever disgusting thing they bring in. And pizza is at the top of my, “Hell no!” list of stuff. Yeah, I’m a picky old bastard. 

Green peppers ruin anything and everything they touch. It’s that simple.

I’ve been working at the same place for almost 22 years. The times I’ve actually eaten any of the food brought in? About 4. Thousands of pizzas, lots of Chipotle, probably a ton of wings, and I’ve eaten the stuff 4 damn times. What did I eat? I ate the steaks, iced shrimp, egg rolls and fried rice, and burgers from a…

I want bright COLORS on a car, and white is a “nope” non-color. Silver I’m just tired of at this point, I’ve had a couple of silver vehicles, a black, and a white and maroon one too. The SC has the lamest color choices I can ever remember a vehicle having. Even Lexus has one or two decent colors, and until lately,…

Fig Newmans are soooo much better than Newtons are. The only fig “bars” I’ve had that are worse than Newtons are some oddball organic ones I bought on impulse from a checkout display at the grocery store. Dry “cake” and very off tasting filling.

A better pic at 11 years old in the back yard. Most vets guessed he weighed about 50 pounds, not the 75 he really was. When you picked him up, it was like picking up a bag of concrete mix. All muscle and bone, and the giant head, which seems to never show up in a pic. I don’t understand how it always happened that way

I miss my dogs, but due to injuries and back issues, walks are impossible, so I switched to the dark side, cats, in 2013. They just aren’t the same. And to be blunt, they both make Gus look like a genius, and Gus was the dumbest dog I ever had. 

If I was going to even consider an SC, it would have to come in a decent color. When white is the best color a vehicle has, that’s just sad.

One of my best friends has a Journey, and, I don’t know why exactly, but he loves it. Second new car he ever bought, the first is his stripper Caravan. He paid cash for both of them, as he always does. 

One of my friend’s grandmother couldn’t cook shit, except for the home fries she made, they were just fantastic. She cooked corn on the cob for so long it tasted, well, awful, and her burgers were so balllike that the middle was always raw, and for me, that’s a big nope. I used to cut the burger sideways and finish…

Oh, and the nuts..I like peanuts and sunflower kernels fine, not a fan of most other nuts, but I don’t want peanuts in my chocolate. Reese’s? Yes, my favorite candy, period, but peanut M&M’s? No thanks. Walnuts, Pistaschios, and pecans don’t belong in anything but a garbage can.

A friend of mine’s dad DID work for the Dairy Council, and they did not drink milk at all in that house. He basically said, “There is no damn reason for drinking milk, it’s bad for you, and you should avoid it and cheese, etc, as much as you can!”. Since I’m a dairyphobe in most ways, I was fine with this. My total…

I don’t remember if that was the interview I saw, but I was talking to my ex-GF on the phone (We keep in touch) and we both saw something was wrong with him almost as soon as it started. It’s too bad, I liked most of his stuff.