I hope she remembers to guard and count her drinks carefully. We wouldn't want her to end up regret-sexing!

MORE LIKE POUNDTON ABBEY

Wait—since when is "pussy" not a sexy term? I don't often sext, it's true, but in terms of dirty talk, pretty sure "pussy" has come up often on both sides.

I'm not sure why pussy got ruled ineligible but there are plenty of other options:

He sounds like he has serious rage or mental health issues. And I am referring to the commentator not the kid.

I LOVE ALL THESE INCLUSIVE COMMERCIALS!!! Every time I see one, I am blown away all over again. And yes, hopefully someday soon I won't have to feel that way.

SHOCKED.

I can't stop laughing at the transcription. "Rrrrraaaaaaar!"

But he's also this guy!

James Spader. Rich, arrogant, asshole from Pretty in Pink. He pretty much was the standard of which all other spoiled brats were modeled in the 1980's.

The only thing Millennials need to know about the 80's is this guy:

I am crying. That is the best fart description I've ever heard.

What, no love for a reunion of The Craft?

Hey everybody. I know probably most of you don't care, but I've been trolling here for like 2 years. I have just realized that I don't want to do this any more, and I feel bad about it. I wasn't a very malicious troll, but I called people idiots before, and I said a lot of things I don't even agree with just for…

I read this this morning and realized that you can add up all the existentialist writings of the twentieth century and it still won't amount to one tenth of this story's distillation of what it means to be a lonely soul in a meaningless universe.

"We represent cats in criminal trials"

Brad Pitt smells amazing, like nothing I've ever smelled. Eventually we ask what cologne he's wearing and he tells us, "I don't wear cologne, it's just my musk I guess."