Speaking of kids and underwear, when I was in kindergarten I had a HUGE crush on my older brother's best friend Sam, a sexy older man in the 4th grade. Every day after school, after Sam and my bro locked themselves in his bedroom to avoid me, I would slide my Little Mermaid panties, one by one, underneath the door. …

When I was in 2nd grade, my class made gingerbread cookies. The teachers orchestrated an elaborate ruse where they pretended the gingerbread cookies ran away. They left flour trails around the school, and wrote messages from the gingerbread cookies with chalk. Messages like "Run run as fast as you can, can't catch…

Was anyone else one of those uber-sensitive kids who ascribed feelings to their toys and stuffed animals? I used to play with all of my toys on a rotation because I was afraid of hurting their feelings. I kind of did that with my clothes too - I would feel guilty if I didn't wear my red shirt for a while because I was…

As a seven year old, I raided the kitchen for my art supplies. I took some herbs, green food coloring, lemon juice, and turmeric powder to create this. My dad was so angry at me for destroying the kitchen and geting half the spice cabinet all over the floor, but he took this, and he framed it because he thought it was…

I was 8 years old when I went into my parent's bedroom one morning while my parents were still asleep and saw my Dad had a boner. I totally freaked out, woke my Mom up by dragging her out of the bed, and called 911 because I thought it was a chestburster from Aliens.

Nope. Wrong. Take it back. He's cute and talented and all, but I am not on board.

Mr. Lawrence was immediately signed by the LA Galaxy after this interview .

I NEED THESE SHOES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lebanese are Semites, darling.

New season on Netflix in 2 days! :)

There are two wonderful things happening here in this story:

I maintain JB Fletcher is actually the greatest serial killer in history, who operated for over a decade and got hundreds of people to take the fall during her murder spree.

Slide into your DMs like

I would like to objectify a lemon cake right now.

I was down until I saw this sweater.

If you can actually get Orthodox Jews and fundamentalist Muslims to agree on something, it's probably wrong.

FINALLY! An airline to satisfy violent Jihadists AND Orthodox Jews equally.

I have to say, it's shitty that the Oregon players are receiving more punishment than the rapist in this situation.

The only good bullfighter is a dead bullfighter.