Here at Deadspin we generally assume that our readers are at least somewhat intelligent people. A lot of other sites dumb down content or write for an audience of morons: we don't do that. But because we've gotten at least one dumbass e-mail, and some dumbass comments and tweets, I'm going to explain why what Ed…

Cheating Death isn't ranked higher?

I think because that's a mobile link

Watch this video. Hear this video. Feel this video.

What in Davy Jones' locker did ye just bark at me, ye scurvy bilgerat? I'll have ye know I be the meanest cutthroat on the seven seas, and I've led numerous raids on fishing villages, and raped over 300 wenches. I be trained in hit-and-run pillaging and be the deadliest with a pistol of all the captains on the high…

WRONG FUCKING ENGINE. THIS CAR IS HERESY!! HE MUST PLEASE THE EMPEROR AND INSERT THE BASED AND HOLY ENGINE: SR20DETT OR THE DEATH WATCH TIER RB26DETT. NISSAN FOR THE NISSAN GOD!!

If this is not number one, I will start a full-on goddamn riot.

If we're all supposed to honor and respect you for being big strong men willing to take a bullet to enforce the law and protect the public, maybe you shouldn't undercut that by being hysterically overreactive crybabies about the slightest implication that maybe somebody in your ranks is doing a shitty job?

I learned of your existence and homophobia simultaneously.

Might not be a "performance" car exactly, but when my 240sx was 98% ish stock, I averaged ~33 mpg on a round trip from central Ohio to Louisville. I'd say that's pretty good.

Gonna go old here. Datsun 240Z.

Most people are most people

So, Pastor Maldonado

The Banked Turn was incredibly bumpy, dangerous and was known for launching cars into the air.

For the love of (insert deity here), why won't the owners of Monza restore the old oval part of the track? The old full course must've been an amazing ride.

That's ok. I'm sure he'll bounce back using the revenue generated from his soon-to-be-released autobiography, Turnover: A New Leaf.

Ugh.

You do get a legit shit ton of standard equipment tho, so for an equally equipped sedan that DOESN'T come w/ an LS3 it's actually priced decently, you can pick one up around $41k brand new and I think there's only like 1 decision to make, if you want a sunroof or not lol. Plus it's got headed AND cooled seats :p very…

I was a prosecutor in the State Attorney's Office for nearly a decade. In my experience, 95% of cops are good, honorable people trying their damned best to do a hard job. But the lengths that the rest of them will go to in order to protect themselves from punishment or criticism, or simply to punish those they feel…