"I assure you that your faith is not misplaced."

My Cowboys Super Bowl bet is suddenly looking up.

Personally I'm more of a palanquin man, but that's just me. I'm pretty sure by the rule of law my slaves can carry me because they don't count as 'walking' because they aren't real people, BUT they would be forced to remain there the entire game. Which honestly isn't a big problem because where would my slaves be…

Right, because the United States justice system is infallible. Just ask Casey Anthony or OJ Simpson. Not being prosecuted for something and not being guilty of something are not the same thing. And 'innocent until proven guilty' is a joke. Every prisoner who's had their conviction overturned was 'proven guilty.'

No Justice, no peace.

And you have to pay to watch Wrestlemania.

Just when I thought I couldn't hate someone more, I find out he drinks Bud Light Lime.

Hooters does objectify women, but so does American society. In a world with the internet, I think most 12 year olds have already been exposed to worse than Hooters has to offer. It probably wasn't a good idea to hold the end of season banquet there, because you would be ostracizing kids who couldn't go because of…

You handle the worst thing first, and move on from there. Redskins is the single worst name in all of American professional sports, hands down.

This article is about the term redskins and the team Redskins. The fact that other organizations also do something that may be considered offensive is irrelevant to the point of THIS article and discussion.

On top of that, if you can't see why Redskins is worse than Braves or Chiefs you're probably not going to…

That killed him! As God as my witness he is broken in half!!

I just assumed it was because the mic looked like a big black dick.

No no, when you write a four paragraph rebuttal, you clearly DO NOT get it.

The zombies in Baltimore are all on heroin. I would assume you would know that, because every single human on planet Earth's guide to Baltimore, The Wire, clearly doesn't show meth one time in five seasons. Screw up like that again and you're libel to get stabbed.